We had a little fire here last night. We had been negligent in keeping the stove clean and something underneath the burners caught on fire. I would sometimes wonder about cleaning out the space underneath the drip pans but would just wipe out what I could see and leave it at that. Clearly that was not enough and having lapsed on even that level of clean-up for a little while, we had allowed for a very effective accumulation of kindling under our burners.
But we didn’t do everything wrong. One thing we did right was buying a fire extinguisher and keeping it under the kitchen sink. When I bought it, I thought it was silly. I spent $25 on this thing that nobody ever really uses, right?! The way this fire worked, if we hadn’t had the extinguisher we would have lost more than the stove, maybe a lot more.
PLEASE. Get a fire extinguisher. Know how to use it. Know where it is. I’m so dead serious about this. We could have lost our house. Seconds count in these situations. When Jt pulled out the fire extinguisher, he didn’t know how to use it. He read the instructions but the trigger is pretty hard to push so it took a few seconds to figure out. If it hadn’t worked, if the trigger had broken off (I read about this happening to someone) we may have run out of time before we figured out what to do next.
Buy an extinguisher. They have them on Amazon. They have them at hardware stores.
These are the different types of extinguishers, click the picture to go to the full article at HomeMinders.com
*****
So. That happened.
And really, everything’s fine. FINE. We are safe, we did all the right things and everyone is okay. But I’m not. I have PTSD and it has never been more obvious to me than it is today. I know that it has fucked with me in a million awful ways over the years but it never really made sense. I guess I was so used to being messed up in some way that it didn’t much matter what you called it. Plus, it was always a condition. It was, “Hey, you have depression and anxiety and -for a short time there- bipolar 2 and you have those things because you have PTSD (and PTSD is a bitch).”
But last night was scary. For Jt it was scary. For me it was a little more than scary. And that makes sense. It’s not unexpected that when something a little scary happens, it might feel a little more scary for me than what other people might feel in the same situation. I just didn’t expect it to feel this overwhelming and… BIG. I thought I would sleep it off last night, I was sure of it. But I didn’t. I remained this weird mix of numb and nauseated and hyperventilating and and… and
My belly is full of rocks and my diaphragm is pressing up into my lungs.
I don’t know how long this will last. I only have a few clonazepam left and can’t see my psychiatrist for another week. So just hand over the meds and we’ll get through this together.
I am SO happy things turned out well. I remember one night when Jennifer was just a baby. I had fallen asleep on the couch with her on my chest when Jim left to work a third shift. Something made him come back, he forgot something I think. I heard the door open and him yelling something like, “What the F*** are you doing?”. I woke up to see the house was filling with smoke coming from the back of the television.
I still think of that night and what would have happened if he hadn’t come home. I know what would have happened. It scares me to this day to think of it.
I don’t have a real defined faith but I have had several things happen in my life that just seem too much like someone or something had a hand in making sure things turned out okay. Guardian angel? Just dumb luck? I’m not sure. I know if I have a guardian angel I want to find out where he or she was at certain OTHER times in my life, but whatever it is I am grateful. If I was supposed to know I would know.
Whatever made you buy that fire extinguisher turned out to be a blessing. One that I am grateful for. We can’t prepare for everything bad that can happen in life, that’s for sure. And close calls can really scare the crap out of you! I hope your meds hold out until you can process the whole thing and file it away with all the things you have to be thankful for. Try not to dwell on what might have happened and pat yourself on the back that you and Jedd reacted clearly and protected your family. WAY TO GO!!!
Love and miss you!
~Aunt Debby
Glad you’re okay. The same thing happened here a few years ago. The extinguisher damaged the stove but that’s better than losing the house.
America’s Test Kitchen, (I’m a fan), has a great little video of tests they did with extinguishers.
http://www.americastestkitchen.com/video/index.php?docid=29716&extcode=M**ASCA00
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I am glad you all are okay and that soon you feel better about things. I know this little scare didn’t help your PTSD but I hope the fact that knowing your family is safe and happy helps. Thinking of you! Love ya always
Life is going to be full of situations like this and that stinks. A big part of learning to live with PTSD is learning coping skills to get you through these situations. Realizing that is exactly that, a PTSD reaction and that it will in fact pass. The more times it rears its ugly head and you make it through okay, the better you will be able to handle them in the future. Try not to instantly go for the quick fix of medication ect. but try work through it in your mind. You will be okay and you will feel normal again. Don’t let it take you backwards but let it help you move forward and learn you are capable of working through your triggers. I’m not saying not to taking medication but don’t let it just delay processing your emotions surrounding the situation. Let yourself feel, process, and move forward. I love you and I’m hear if you need anything or just need to talk through things. Bob Marley said it best “Cause every little thing’s gonna be all right.”